“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ―Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
I love home. I love being at home. I love belonging. But I also have in my heart a longing. Some call it wanderlust. An intense desire to go. To wander. An ache and a homesickness for somewhere they've never been. Traveling simply isn't a luxury I indulge in much these days. My life is simple, so my leisure time is simple too. I don't resent this life that I have carefully chosen. But occasionally, like lately, I struggle with discontent. I want to go, see, and do but, in this old world turned by money, I'm powerless to make it happen.
What is it about wandering that I crave so much? Friends of mine go to the beach, go on cruises, go to Disney World. I'm not jealous of them. Truly! Commercialized tourism has no appeal to me. It leaves you as empty as the day you left. Your empty pockets for souvenirs and 10 loads of laundry to welcome you home. No, the wandering I crave is as much about about where I am, as where I am going.
Here's what I long for: A beauty so profound that it makes me feel small. A quiet so complete that I can finally hear my own thoughts. An escape from the familiar that oddly feels like home. And a people that help me grow. Those whom I can't imagine my world before they arrived in it. Surroundings that force the brain to wake up. To dream. To see. To plan. And to believe. Discoveries that remind me how small I've allowed my world to become. Nature that breathes with so much beauty, it's almost as if Jehovah is talking to me. Away from cel phones, highway noise, night-time light pollution, and monotonous sameness that would normally carry me through my day in a semi-comotos state. A journey that creates enough distance between me and home that I can turn around, look back, and see a whole new perspective. I don't believe I wander to escape my life. I think I journey to understand it.
So, what's a girl to do? Perhaps there's a little corner of my own world I can escape to. A park bench might become my vista. A shady tree, my sanctuary. After all, contentment is a discovery in itself. It's not defined as having all you want. It's wanting what you have. Perhaps it's time to wander through my own world. Appreciate what is staring me in the face. To go on a treasure hunt for what is hidden in plain sight..... now that's an adventure! :-)
