It's been a while....

Oh dear blog, what do I write? So much has happened, where do I begin? Well, there's no way to catch up, and I'll never be inspired to write again until I just write SOMETHING. So, I'll start with yesterday.

What was so great about yesterday? Well, not much really. But a great deal was accomplished. You see, Mom and I reached a milestone of sorts. We have been so stressed out lately, truly at a breaking point. And really, no matter what we pointed to or where we put the blame, we just miss Dad... plain and simple.

However, there certainly are some things we have been doing to add to that stress. We are trying to get our house on the market, we have no choice. We must sell, and get into something even more modest and simple. Everyone tells us this is the brief window of opportunity to sell. We are trying to stage the house, everyone tells us we must help the buyer create an 'emotional attachment' to our home. We have so many voices in our ear telling us what we 'must' do, and it was about to drive me insane. We have been working like crazy and leaving precious little time for what is truly important. And after Mom lost Dad's income, all of this on top of trying to create an income out of thin air. Which makes me miss Dad more. When things got crazy he always had this gift for stepping back, assessing the whole situation, seeing it from Jehovah's standpoint and finding a reasonable solution. I can't bring Dad back, but I did realize something needed to change.

So all plans came to a screeching halt yesterday. I tried to be Dad. It took a pen, notebook and three hours of crying, but Mom and I finally found a solution. The word of the day? Reasonableness. We wrote down everything stressing us. Then we wrote down what is truly important... not what people tell us is important, but what truly is important from Jehovah's standpoint. Guess what? Our list of what was stressing us, and our list of what was truly important didn't match at all. Hmmm.... something is stinky in Funkytown! What a wake-up call that was! The solution? Reasonableness. Turn off the voices in our ear, and think spiritually. Quit relying on advice from HGTV to help us sell our house... and let Jehovah help us sell our house. Oh and that month we 'took off' from our regular service schedule to get the house ready? Big mistake! What was that about 'taste and see that Jehovah is good'? Or what about finding 'refreshment for your souls'? No wonder I am stressed out! What else did I expect? I am humbled.

As I review this post the principles all seem so elementary and simple. Things I KNOW and have applied for years, but got caught off guard. Two things I reflect on tonight: One, none of us are immune to faulty reasoning, especially me. And two? Satan loves nothing more than kicking us when we are down. I don't mean that he made me do anything. But his system is designed to peck away at us until it finds a weak spot. My sorrow was my weak spot. I hope I am sufficiently humbled to learn. And I hope I can help you to stand firm.

Forver Sunshine

I'm back to the blog! Well, sort-of. I will write soon, I promise! I just lost my appetite for writing for a while. But I think it's starting to return. For now, for your viewing pleasure (or torture) here is my first stop-motion video. In case you aren't familiar with that, this entire movie is all individual photographs, taken in rapid succession, and played in one fluid line. I learned a lot and am anxious to do my next one! Oh and fyi, this is springtime in Phoenix, Az. And (random fun fact) the title is actually taken from my favorite fragrance at Bath and Body Works. Yummy!

(Guns N' Roses) Sweet Child O'Mine - Sungha Jung

A really awesome, mellow version of a 'guilty pleasure' song. This guy can really play the guitar! He's been posting on YouTube since he was pretty young, but his talent is definitely maturing. If you like this acoustic sound, I definitely recommend checking out his other work. Just thought I'd share... hope you enjoy it!

We're keeping our head above water... and having a pool party!

As most of you know a couple of weeks ago our family received sad news. Dad went into the emergency room because he was unable to swallow. Within 24 hours he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Cancer of the esophagus has metastasized to areas throughout his abdomen, and his condition is terminal. It has been quite a blow, one we are still dealing with day to day. Dad is doing good and actually is feeling pretty good. He has a feeding tube now, and is enjoying having more energy now that we are getting some food into him. Still trying to figure our how to stuff that steak into that little tube... but we'll figure it out! Haha! We have yet to meet with the oncologist... but there are several different treatments we are looking into. But I wanted to share this because of the good that has come from our situation.

Every day our family feels Jehovah lovingly grasping hold of our right hand and carrying us through this. While Dad has his times when he is down, he has a great attitude and tremendous courage. He says that at the front of his mind is to use every ounce of strength for Jehovah. His goal is not to let his health issues consume him to the point that every day is focused on that instead of his theocratic service. He doesn’t want to waste the time he has left, but wants to give it to Jehovah. This isn’t surprising to me, just fits the pattern of his life. He has enjoyed many fine privileges over the years… convention speaker, Hospital Liaison Committee, Regional Building Committee, and Bethel service to name a few. One of my favorite things he always says, “There are no ‘titles’ in Jehovah’s organization… only job descriptions. When you receive a new job description it only means more work and serving more people.” He has many skills, but his greatest quality is humility.

We have had many opportunities to witness to the hospital staff. One young intern had a lot of questions concerning the issue of blood transfusions. He wanted to know our scriptural reason for our stand. Dad was able to clear up a lot of confusion. After several different discussions, he said that our stand made sense to him. He developed a good rapport with my dad, and said that he was his favorite patient to visit, that Dad always cheered him up. He gave us his address so we could send him the video prepared especially for doctors concerning the blood issue, as well as more information about our beliefs.

Another experience was with one of Dad’s regular nurses. When she knew we were going home she came in to say goodbye. She said, “I just can’t believe how you all have handled this news. I have never seen a family deal with this with so much calm, love and patience. There is so much love in your family and you get along so well. Sometimes I see you all just give each other ‘a look’ and you know exactly what the other means. It seems like most families that are here just fight with each other the whole time. And your support group (the friends from the congregation) is amazing. So many people go through this virtually alone. But your church really takes care you!” Dad was able give Jehovah the credit and to share several scriptures with her including the fact that in the last days love is what would identify true Christians.

I have to share just one more experience. While Dad was still at the hospital were all at a pretty low point... Dad especially. So Mom said, "Maybe now would be a good time to talk to Jehovah?". So Dad said a heartfelt prayer and begged Jehovah to give us the strength to get through this... to keep a good attitude. He pleaded with Jehovah that whatever he could do to help us we would be so thankful for. Not five minutes later there, peeking through the door's window were a bunch of smiling faces! The whole Wilson family and Lindsey Myers... with cake! They had originally planned on bringing us dinner when we thought we were going home that night. When those plans changed, those dear people thought, "Why not? Let's take dessert to the hospital!" Their company and laughter was just what we needed. We are convinced that Jehovah moved their heart to be there that night. After their visit, we felt so well cared for by Jehovah, and were ready to face another day!

There have been so many more experiences, ones I know you all will enjoy, especially of the loving care from the congregation. I will share these with you soon! We are all in good spirits, just taking one day at a time... and cherishing one day at a time. Our home is a haven of peace and laughter as it always has been. No Gloomy Gusses here! I thank all of you, who knew of our situation already, for your kind words and prayers. Those prayers have power! Every day I pray for a calm heart and joy. Joy, I know, is not dependent on our circumstances, but is a gift from Jehovah, a fruitage of his spirit. And every day that is what I receive. I have never felt Jehovah’s loving care so personally, and am amazed at the calm and peace I feel. I know it’s only due to Jehovah’s strength. So, thank you Jehovah, my God and Friend.

Just a little somethin...

I've told a few of you about Pomplamoose on You Tube. Here's a little something from them I like. Maybe it will help you 'chill' on your Monday. Enjoy!

Perfectly, Imperfect

I know we all long for the day when Jehovah will allow us to be perfect. But I dearly hope some things remain imperfect... or I should say, perfect in a relative sense. What started this quirky thought swirling around in my little brains? A decorating show. Here's the connection:

I was watching an interior decorating show on TV the other day, a favorite designer. What I always liked about watching her is that she is original, creative and doesn't take herself too seriously. But what I saw on the screen was a totally different person. She has begun her new season as an amped up, botox deadened, ultra buff, skinny with-in an inch of her life... power woman. Gone are her quacky facial expressions... the botox deadened that. And I dare any knuckle dragging Mr. Universe type to rival the veins bulging in her over-developed neck. But this isn't what I'm writing about. Meh, she's nothing in my world... what do I care?

But it somehow triggered an appreciation for the perfectly imperfect. Go to any mega-mall and you will see a sea of botox, implants, collagen, brand names and bleached hair. Is that beauty? Is that coming close to 'perfection'? The masses say so. There are no wrinkles, lots of big lips, zero percent body fat and wardrobes the price of which could feed the starving children of a small country. All I can think of though, is the stark contrast of that to one of our theocratic events. I love to sit and just 'people watch' at Assemblies and Conventions. It's amazing how total strangers can be so beautiful. Are there laugh lines, crows feet, simple clothes and a few extra pounds? You betchya! But that's the beautiful part! There is so much beauty in humility. And the more ego driven the world becomes, the more that humility becomes positively breathtaking.

There is so much more to life than aesthetics, right? Actually there is almost everything to life outside of aesthetics! What makes our brothers and sisters so beautiful? Love... joy... peace... long-suffering... kindness.. well you get the idea. Take my sister-in-law for example (aka bestest friend). She has always been

a pretty girl. A 'whole package' girl. You know the kind... tall, blond, blue eyed, blah, blah, blah. And she is always wonderfully humble about it. Now, she probably hasn't been feeling like her typical self lately. iLey keeps her hoppin' these days, and she probably hasn't spent too much quality time with her makeup bag. But when I see her with iLey.... I see all those qualities I just mentioned. Love... joy... peace... long-suffering... kindness. She is everything good she ever has been... a hundred-fold. She may be a bit sleep-deprived these days... but I have never seen her more beautiful.

And that has me thinking... is that a glimpse of how Jehovah sees us? Beauty measured by qualities. By humility. Is that what true perfection will mean for us? Not that we just change outwardly and reach some pinnacle of 'buff-ness'. But that we see ourselves and the world around us with new eyes? Peel away the rotten filter Satan has us seeing things through and know things as they really are? Can we learn to see it now? The most important mirror is Jehovah's word, and we can be beautiful the more we remember our reflection in it. But, perhaps the next time we look in the real mirror, we can embrace the wrinkles and blemishes. They are the laugh-lines of life, the perfectly imperfect... and they are beautiful!

You've Got Mail

This little ditty is dedicated to Valerie. A friend and sister who I know isn't feeling well and has a long road ahead of her. She has been on my mind a great deal, and all the gifts her friendship gives me. One gift in particular has been swirling around my mind the past few days... the gift of a letter. Not an email. Not a text. A really true, honest to goodness, handwritten, handcrafted letter... on paper. I'll never forget the first one I got from her. I remember being taken by surprise. "Why is she giving me this letter? She could email me. Plus, I see her almost every day in field service?" But at the same time, the giddy little girl voice in my head was saying, "Oh goodie, I have mail!". She reminded me of the joy of letter writing.

In this fast paced, techno mad world, the art of a hand-crafted letter is getting lost. Now, it might seem a little bizarre, that I am writing this in an online blog. I'm a hypocrite, I'll admit it. I haven't written a letter in quite a while. But as I was unpacking I came across my box of special letters. It brought back a flood of memories and a smile to my face. What email or text could ever do that? So, I have begun a crusade to write letters to people I care about. But I'm making a discovery. So lost is this art becoming, that when I Googled 'letter writing' (I know, another act of irony) that mostly what came up are are little social groups dedicated to keeping the art alive. (You know something is getting lost when artsy-fartsy coffee house people start support groups for it.) And try shopping for the paper to write on! All I have found are soulless, tacky 8 1/2 x 11 printer sheets with balloons or birthday cake. Oh, I did find one set, but it only came with 40 sheets, small potatoes in letter-writing world, for $20! That's 50 cents per sheet! (I know, I used my calculator... and my toes).

The way I see it (well you knew this was coming) writing a letter to someone is giving a little tiny bit of yourself. In this time when we feel so disconnected that we constantly try to be connected (electronically), imagine holding a letter in your hands. To be holding and object your loved one held. To read from writing from their own hand. Writing that sometimes is as much a part of their personality as their voice or their smile. The effort itself is an act of love. No 'delete' button. No 'spell-check'. You have to really think to write. And yet, your friend could be thousands of miles away and here's this little part of them in your hands. And if a letter is a gift, then a letter from Val is a treasure. She not only hunts down stationary (her eyes positively glaze over in a stationary store) but she finishes it with a wax seal... an art in itself, full of symbolism and history.

So will you join me? I'm not against emails and texts. It has made the world smaller, in a good way. And for some, who are very far away, it is the only way to stay connected. But the next time you are missing someone you care about, why not write to them? Put the phone away, turn off the laptop and slooowww down. Put pen to paper and give them a gift. Who knows? Maybe you'll get mail too!